Sunday, December 6, 2009

Sunday Supper

After our recent trip to Argentina, Tesha and I had some pictures to exchange and debts to settle, so I invited her and her boyfriend Clifford over for dinner this past Sunday night. Tesha is one of my favorite diners, as she is both adventurous and trusting that I probably won’t kill her with my experiments.

We started off with a jazzed up version of the Argentine staple, provoleta. Lacking the standard circular metal dish in which the hunk of provolone is normally grilled turned out to be a major problem, as my disk of cheese melted far more quickly than I expected in my grill pan. While I was able to salvage the cheese, I didn’t get the beautiful circle of provolone that I was looking for, nor did the cheese develop a golden brown crust over very much of it, which is sort of the whole point of the dish.

Having said that, it’s melted cheese, and no matter what you do it, it will probably be pretty tasty.

A mostly delicious failure

I added my twist to the provoleta by adding shreds of Benton’s Tennessee prosciutto, fresh basil and some homemade pickled red onion slivers that I made with more sugar that the recipe calls for to counteract the saltiness of the other ingredients. The onions provided a nice texture element to the gooey mess on the plate and the basil a welcome floral note. The prosciutto might have been overkill considering that the cheese was already salt laden, but it definitely worked and added some richness. This was definitely a triumph of taste over appearance. Next time I’ll pick up a proper cooking vessel though.

Next we had a classic matzoh ball soup with some roasted jalapeno added for a little kick. I started off with chicken neck bones, onions, parsnips, celery and carrots from which I made a classic chicken stock. Then I charred two jalapenos using the gas from my stove and peeled the burned skin off before letting the whole peppers soak in the soup for the last hour of simmering to impart a bit of their flavor and heat. The difference is subtle, but I think it’s a nice addition to an already pretty good soup.

Simple, Homey Goodness

For the meat course, I prepared chicken leg/thigh quarters that I marinated in Lawry’s Chicken and Poultry seasoning (which I use as a base seasoning for almost all chicken dishes) and Ssamjang, a Korean condiment made from bean paste, chili paste, sesame, garlic and sugar. It’s basically the Korean version of ketchup, and improves just about any dish that you’d consider either hot sauce or ketchup for.

Spicy, Savory, Sweet and Tender

I browned the chicken in a cast iron skillet over medium-high heat for a few minutes, then roasted the quarters in the oven at 325 degrees for about an hour. What resulted was some of the most flavorful and tender chicken that I’ve ever prepared. The ssamjang worked wonders for the meat and caramelized into a beautiful crust on the skin. Tesha said it was her favorite chicken dish that she can remember. I'm not sure it was quite that good, but just to check, I’m making it again tonight.

Finally, we arrived at dessert, which was my most ambitious course of the evening.

Let me start by saying that I’m really into basil. I love the flavor, I love the smell and I love how versatile it is. When I was out in San Francisco earlier this year, David and I prepared french toast with strawberries and basil whipped cream. I also sampled one of the best desserts of my life at Ubuntu, a basil semifreddo with strawberries and lime granita.

I was determined to make a dessert with basil, and I decided that I was going to do so via one of my other favorite foods, ice cream.

I borrowed an ice cream machine from a co-worker and got down to business. The first step was trying to figure out how to impart the basil flavor without actually putting basil leaves in the ice cream (I didn’t think they’d work texturally). I decided to take a page from Christina Tosi’s book and let the cream sit with bunches of bruised basil leaves in it for a few hours before making the ice cream. I then followed the standard recipe for vanilla ice cream (milk, cream, sugar and vanilla).

Infuse thyself, basil!

I dipped a spoon into the mix and tasted the results. It was SO good. Again, remember that I like basil so much that I eat the leaves straight, but this stuff was awesome. A little sweet, a little floral and not overpowering, but certainly basil ice cream.

This really couldn't be much easier

As a base for the ice cream, I made some challah french toast. I added a bit of balsamic vinegar to the batter for an additional twist of flavor and it worked very well as part of the dessert, with the ice cream’s sweetness swooping in to balance out the tart vinegar.

Balsamic French Toast, Basil Ice Cream, Raspberry

I was quite excited that the dessert worked as well as it did and I’ve already begun pondering both what else I can use the basil ice cream for (caprese with tomato sorbet and mozzarella balls?) and what other non-traditional ice creams I would like to attempt.

All in all, I think Tesha and Clifford had a nice evening and were pretty pleased with their meals. It was a great Sunday evening.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Pour on, Porron

Saturday evening, I had the pleasure of enjoying a late night snack and drinks at Macondo with a small group of friends.

We were enticed by the waitress to try their special drink of the evening, a concoction of whiskey, rioja wine, lemongrass and orange liqueur. However, it wasn’t the elixir itself, which was compelling enough, that prompted our order. It was the delivery method.

Say hello to my little friend

That was via porron.

For those too lazy to click to the link, here’s what George Orwell had to say about them: “A porron is a sort of glass bottle with a pointed spout from which a thin jet of wine spurts out whenever you tip it up; you can thus drink from a distance, without touching it with your lips, and it can be passed from hand to hand..”

The idea is that the whole table can share one porron, and because of the proscribed method of imbibing, the hygenic issues of sharing a drinking vessel are minimized.

Adam in Action

I can honestly say that I’ve never had so much fun drinking anything.

At first, it was funny to watch my friends struggle to perform the porron dance of slowly pouring the drink into their mouths and then spilling on themselves as they tried to pull the porron away as the waitress showed us. Once we got the hang of it though, it became a blast to both drink from the porron yourself and watch your friends do so via long streams of alcohol hurling through the air into their mouths.

It was so pleasurable, that I even took to using a spent porron as my water glass.

Josh impressing the ladies

It turns out that porrons are not particularly expensive, and I think they’d make a great gift for anyone who enjoys being a daredevil drinker.

Just be sure to wear a bib….

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

It's Here!

The day I've been waiting for has finally arrived.
Costco will open their first Manhattan Store on Thursday, November 12th. Expect long lines, crazy crowds and great deals.
The store will be located on East 117th Street, near the FDR.

You Can Find Me In the (Warehouse) Club


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Mea Culpa

It's been way, way, way, way too long.

I'm sorry.

Now that we've gotten that over with, I have much to share in the coming weeks (assuming someone is still reading this (thanks Mom)).

First, a short article detailing how to get the most nutritional value out of the foods you are eating.

Try adding some black pepper to this party for both complexity and, apparently, good health

Luckily, the suggestions involved are often tasty additions to the vittles in question, so it really shouldn't take much convincing to give these ideas a try.

Enjoy: Getting the Most From Your Meals

Thursday, July 23, 2009

What I Cooked On My Summer Vacation

I made it out to San Francisco last month for a fantastic week long vacation. I stayed with my friends Jeannette and David and spent most of my time eating very, very well. This is the first of two posts discussing the wonderful things I consumed on that trip.

This post shows off some of the work that David and I did in the kitchen during my time there.

Next time I'll show you what we dined on at San Francisco and Napa's wonderful restaurants.

Thursday David and I walked through the Ferry Building and picked up a whole striped bass that we grilled in their garden. We stuffed it with a bunch of herbs he had lying around the house and served it over papparadelle that we made from scratch.

For the record, the striped bass started it

I had never made pasta before, so this was an enlightening experience. I enjoyed the process so much that I have since purchased my own pasta machine.

On top of the fish and pasta, we tossed in some fresh veggies that we bought at the Ferry Building's farmer's market. We also made a sauce from fresh corn and milk that worked beautifully with the pasta and morels, if not the fish or veggies. See the results of our work below.

Mise En Place - Morels, Carrots, Snap Peas, Wax Beans

Striped Bass, Flat Leaf Parsley, Hysop, Thyme, Rosemary

David rolling out the pasta sheets

Fresh Corn Sauce

Trust me, there's a striped bass in there somewhere

The finished product - Whole Roasted Striped Bass over Home Made Pappardelle, Morels, Carrots, Sugar Snap Peas, Wax Beans

On my last day in town, David and I put on a brunch for about 20 of his friends. I got to play sous chef and waiter, and it was a blast seeing everyone enjoy themselves (and the food) so much.

Here's what we made:

The Menu

Crispy 36-Hour Pork Belly, Vidalia Onion Jam, Russian Black Bread

Wild Mushroom (Chanterelle, Maitake, King Trumpet, Porcini) Omelet, Fromage Blanc, Heirloom Tomato Salad

French Toast Sticks, Fresh Strawberries, Diced Strawberries, Strawberry Puree, Basil Whipped Cream

David Plating the French Toast

The Americanized Croque Madame

The Completed Pork Belly Sandwich

Look out for my next post when you'll find out what exactly the dish called Carte De Musica is.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Don't Forget The Drinks

Eating well isn't my only pastime.

I also like to enjoy a frosty beer, a fine wine or a well-crafted cocktail from time to time as well.

The one issue I have with buying drinks when out is whether the juice is worth the squeeze.

By that I mean, why pay six dollars for a beer when I could have the same exact same brew from the supermarket for less than a dollar a bottle? What reason do I have for dropping ten bucks on a gin and tonic when I can concoct my own for a tenth of the price? What's my motivation for ordering a forty dollar bottle of wine that retails at my local wine store for $13?

In certain instances there may be unique offerings in terms of selection (hard to find brands) or liquid delivery method (draft or cask ales), but in general, a great majority of the drinks ordered by bar and restaurant going patrons are familiar to their future imbibers.

When I drink outside of the house, I tend to order based on three ideals (in order of importance):

1) Beverages that I've never heard of

2) Beverages that I've never before had the pleasure of experiencing

3) Reasonable markups on beverages that I am familiar with (and enjoy)

I understand the need for restaurants to provide customers with the option of drinks they are familiar with to ensure that non-adventurous customers can quench their thirst. However, I believe that it should be the responsibility of any restaurant worth it's salt to provide diverse and unique options for those patrons interested in trying something new.

In that vein, here are some of my favorite restaurants and watering holes that also have superb libations to match their vittles:

Tailor's Solid Cocktails (yes, that's white russian rice crispies)

Tailor - They aren't cheap, but I guarantee you that you've never had anything like Eben Freeman's Cocktails. They just filed for bankruptcy, so go check them out before you no longer can. The free curry popcorn at the bar is about as addictive as it gets.

The lair of the Chang and Wylie Dogs, and Bacon infused whisky

Please Don't Tell (PDT) - Finding your way into this hidden drinking den is only the beginning of the fun. Creative drinks using fresh, seasonal ingredients are the standard at this clandestine cocktail lounge. More importantly, there's nothing quite like quaffing a pitch perfect cocktail while chowing down on phenomenal junk food (Jalapeno Cheese Tater Tots anyone?). Be sure to check out their celebrity-chef haute dogs.

Even the bar stools are appetizing

Terroir - Wine bars can be snooty, overpriced and boring. This place is none of those things. Run by the fine folks at Hearth and Insieme, Terroir's staff will gladly educate you about the wines you're tasting while feeding you excellent morsels of interesting foods.

Five and Ten - I adore Five and Ten for about a million different reasons, but one of my favorite reasons to love it is their beverage program. Every liquid on hand is carefully chosen, from local craft beers (Terrapin!, Sweetwater!) to classic and modern southern cocktail favorites (Mint Julep, Southern Sunrise).

Don't be dismayed if your date gets distracted by the wine list

Their wine list is a tome worth checking out even if you never plan to step foot in the restaurant. It evokes the pleasures that the wines it lists provide, and uses humor, Rochioli, Sonoma, 2005 (the cult classic), or Loire, Dom. St. Nicolas, Cuvee Jacques, 2004 (full, bright; speaks fluent terroir)), gravitas (Billecart-Salmon, rosé, NV, Champagne (complex beyond belief; true bliss)) and food imagery (rose, Pax, Sonoma County, 2005 (sought after; berries, roses, nilla wafers)) to describe the many wines on offer.

Even wines by the glass get chef's notes in their descriptions. It's one of the few wine lists that is actually fun to read, and its evident that those involved clearly had a blast coming up with it.

So I challenge you as diners to seek out something new and interesting when you go out, whether it be food, drink, atmosphere, or hopefully, all of the above.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Summer in the City Tasting Event

City Harvest, a non-profit organization that I am an active volunteer for, is the world's first and New York City's only food rescue program.

The organization saves perfectly good food that would otherwise go to waste from restaurants, farmer's markets, grocery stores and trade shows and distributes the bounty to the people who need it most.

To run this great organization requires some lubrication (a.k.a. cash). To that end, City Harvest organizes several fundraisers through out the year, most of which are centered around tastings of many of New York's best restaurants and bars.

Their logo certainly does not match the local weather so far this summer

This Tuesday, June 23rd, City Harvest is hosting their annual benefit, Summer in the City. This year's event features tastings from over thirty top joints, including Stanton Social, Dirt Candy, Allen & Delancey, and 10 Downing.

Of interest to celebrity chef followers, Food Network and Top Chef alum such as Leah Cohen, Alex Guarnaschelli and Chris Santos will be on hand cooking on behalf of their restaurants.

I've been working on my pick-up line for weeks

The night will also feature two new components; six chef demos and late-night celebrity chef karaoke.

The event costs $125 for general admission and $200 for VIP. For the price of a nice dinner out, you can eat dishes from 30+ great restaurants and drink from some of Manhattan's top watering holes, both with unlimited portions.

Would it help if I told you I'll be on hand as a greeter?

Again, this is a really fantastic cause, so if you've got the evening free, I couldn't think of a better way to enjoy a Tuesday night while doing something both important and fun.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

It's the most wonderful time, of the year...

For those of you who aren't already planning your weekend around it, let me encourage you to reschedule whatever you thought you were doing and head to the 7th annual Big Apple BBQ Block Party.

Due to using up the world's supply of beans on one pot, the Proclamation Stew Crew won't be joining us this year

Last year I did a preview of what was going down, which you can see here. All of those favorites are back for another year, as well as some new entrants into the competition. I'm particularly excited to sample the ribs from Pappy's Smokehouse in St. Louis.

Some important changes that have taken place since last year include the extension of the festival's hours from 12:00 pm - 6:00 pm to 11:00 am - 7:00 pm. While I'm excited about the change, I'm worried that the 'cue will run out well before 7:00 pm, as it has in prior years.

Like last year (but unlike the first five years), many of the BBQ seminars given on site will be free. You can check out a listing of what's being taught here. There's even a free bourbon tasting.

Finally, if you haven't already purchased a fast pass (don't say I didn't tell you to do so), they won't be selling anymore this year. Hopefully this means shorter lines for pass holders (like yours truly).

I'll be the one right over there, licking my fingers

Whether you're there for the food, the live music, the beer garden or just great people watching, this event has something for everyone. I look forward to seeing you there.


Friday, May 15, 2009

Edacious, Profiled

I'm famous.

Melody Serafino is bringing value to the masses

Fellow frugal New Yorker Melody Serafino pens a valuable blog called Fabulously Frugal. For her weekly Friday profiles of people living according to her site's mantra, she has chosen yours truly.

Check it out here.

Monday, April 27, 2009

A Whiff of Spring

Can you feel it in the air? More importantly, can you smell it?

That pungent garlicky aroma? It can only mean one thing.

Ramps are back.

Tastiest Weeds Ever

For those who aren't familiar with these spring delicacies, ramps are wild green onions that grow in eastern North America from north Georgia up through Canada. Prized for their sharp, powerful flavor and come-hither aroma, ramps substitute easily for any dish requiring garlic or onion.

Ramps are only available for about a month out of the year, depending on what neck of the woods you call home. Also depending on the location of your domicile, you might be able to go out and pick your very own ramps (or order them from someone who can). Ramps are often found in groups with wide, verdant green leaves, and purple or burgundy tints on the stems. A scallion-like bulb strongly roots the plant to the dirt underneath.

For New York city dwellers, ramps can be found at the Union Square greenmarket Mondays, Wendesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Just let your sense of smell guide you to them.

Seriously, follow your nose...

I love using ramps in recipes that allow them to play with other bold flavors, or as a substitute for garlic. Some of the things I've been concocting include:

Ramp and Bacon Omelet

Grilled Rice Cakes, Kimchi, Bacon, Ramps

Shrimp and Grits, Andouille Sausage, Ramps

With ramps, you really can't go wrong. Have fun, experiment, and for everyone's sake, brush your teeth.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Costco is coming!

It's official (seemingly).

Costco is coming to Manhattan.

According to this article, it will arrive by year's end.

Cheapskates rejoice!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Consider the Lobster

I just wanted to let everyone know that after witnessing a PETA video last night and then reading the following article, I have decided to become a vegetarian.

This blog will now focus only on textured vegetable proteins (TVP) and (more so) on good old fashioned vegetables.

I encourage you, dear readers, to do the same.

Consider the Lobster - by David Foster Wallace


Monday, March 23, 2009

Lamb Bacon

I first experienced the wonder that is lamb bacon at Resto, a Belgian restaurant in Manhattan. The dish was called Lamb Belly with Snap & English Peas, Tendrils, Leaves, Goat Cheese.

From the first bite, I was smitten.

Combining the intense, delicious flavor of lamb with the salty, crispy goodness of bacon, the lamb belly was a revelation. I couldn't believe I hadn't experienced this product before.

Six months later, I had my next encounter with the smoky seductress. This time the belly arrived nestled amidst bacon's common confidants, lettuce and tomato as part of a gourmet BLT. While many plates coming out of Boqueria's kitchen are memorable dishes, this was one of the all-time greatest sandwiches I've ever had the pleasure to eat (and I don't even like raw tomato slices!). It was balanced and perfect in all the ways that a great BLT is, but had the added pizazz of lamb flavor to up the ante that much more.

Boqueria's Beauties

By this time I was hooked. I had to have more lamb bacon, to experiment with this wonderful ingredient on my own, and to share the fantastic flavor with my friends.

There was just one little problem with my plan.

I couldn't find any.

I called specialty stores, emailed meat purveyors, and even wrote to various farms around the country. Nobody, and I mean, nobody, sold lamb bacon.

After about a dozen attempts, I gave up. It seemed that there was no lamb belly to be had.

A few months later, I had the pleasure of attending the launch party for the new daily food digest, Tasting Table. In between hobnobbing with various food bloggers and encountering the legendary Jean-Georges himself, I met the proprietors of said newsletter.

For some reason the conversation ended up turning to lamb bacon, and low and behold, the gentlemen told me that the following day's e-mail would contain the answers to my search.

The next morning, after frantically refreshing my inbox for a couple of hours, the e-mail arrived.

Lamb belly was now being sold at Williamsburg butcher shoppe, Marlow and Daughters. I immediately made plans to go.

The answer to my prayers

After a scrumptious lunch with my roommates at Peter Luger, I made my way over to this new meat market and plunked down a cool $5 for 1/3 of a pound of lamb pancetta. While not exactly lamb bacon (pancetta is cured, but not smoked), I figured it would do the trick.

The trick I hoped that the pancetta could perform was to add balance and flavor to a salad I was making that evening.

I decided that I’d roast the paper thin rounds of pancetta until they were crisp sheets and then crumble the warm results over a salad.

The other cast members included peppery baby watercress, sour and acidic blood orange segments, and shaved red onion. The salad was topped with Annie's garlic studded Green Goddess dressing.

Baby Watercress, Lamb Pancetta, Blood Orange, Red Onion, Green Goddess

The lamb bacon was not only able to hold its own against these pungent ingredients, but it actually served to tie them all together.

The bacon fat was cut by the acid from the blood orange and the pancetta’s crispy texture gave spunk and flavor to the watercress. Red onion added its own sweet and spicy flavor, while the dressing both lubricated and flavored each ingredient well. When all the ingredients were eaten in one bite, the salad was a perfect expression of the type of dishes that I love to make; big, bold flavors that play well with one another.

Unfortunately, between the salad and pre-meal snacking (a good chef always tastes his food before serving it), I used up all the pancetta on this one dish.

Don’t worry though. 

Even if it means another trek to Williamsburg, where there is lamb bacon, I’ll be there.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Big Apple Block Party Fast Passes and Schoolgirls

I won't delay you from clicking on these links any longer than I have to.

There are two things you need to know A.S.A.P.

1) Big Apple Block Party Fast Passes are now on sale

2) Park Avenue Winter, one of my favorite restaurants in the city, is doing this (via Eater):

"Attention UES parents, creepy old men, and ladies willing do anything for a free meal. Feast your eyes on this little ol' Dealfeed from Park Avenue Winter: "Park Avenue Winter will make its small-screen debut on The CW’s Gossip Girl on Monday, March 16. The ingénue restaurant is celebrating its star turn with a special offer for March 16-20: girls of any age in a school uniform will be treated to dinner with Park Avenue’s compliments." "Girls" over 21 get two rounds on the house. "

Park Avenue Winter
100 East 63rd Street at Park Avenue, 212-644-1900.

Now go make yourselves a reservation!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

A Tasting You Can Afford

Your humble host bring news of another fantastic New York event.

Last year's Village Voice Choice Eats

While there are plenty of tastings around the city, usually for the benefit of one charitable organization or another, the great majority of them are incredibly expensive or lack variety. 

The event I bring to your attention this evening has an extensive, eclectic lineup of some of New York's best restaurants, many of which are from uncharted territories (a.k.a. the outer boroughs).  

This delicious lineup is hand picked for you by none other than famed Village Voice critic Robert Sietsema.  Known for his strong opinions and love of "underdog" restaurants, Sietsema uses this forum to champion his favorite places around town and get patrons to experience unique and wonderful world cuisines.
Robert Sietsema is crazy..... (about great food)

Per the press release, there will be over 50 restaurants from all five boroughs in attendance, nearly double the number that were at the first edition of this now annual event last March.

I'm still waiting for a Jamaican restaurant named "The Jerk Store"

Best of all, all of this deliciousness, plus three hours of open bar, can be experienced by yourself for the very, very reasonable price of $35.  Oh, and did I mention that the profits benefit Slow Food NYC, an organization near and dear to my heart?

If you don't have plans for March 31, 2009, I hope to see you there.

Get your tickets soon as they sell out quickly.


Thursday, February 12, 2009


Sorry for the late notice, but, if you've got an extra quarter-Benjamin lying around, you can attend what promises to be a pretty fantastic event. See below:

Tongue Test

Thursday, 2/12 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Food chemistry guru Harold McGee and taste expert Linda Bartoshuk discuss the science behind flavor at this interactive tasting ($25). Attendees will sample various foods, including the sense-beguiling miracle fruit. New York Academy of Sciences, 250 Greenwich St. (at Barclay St.), 40th floor;


Sunday, January 25, 2009

You're doing it all wrong...

Chowhound, a valuable resource for regionally based dining advice has added a new video on demand section with some very interesting and informative shorts.

The videos give very specific and valuable bits of advice regarding their chosen topics from people who really know their crafts.

That's Mr. Carmellini to you...

When I found out that one of my favorite chefs, Andrew Carmellini, was getting in on the (lights, camera) action, I knew that this was a series to take seriously.  Here's a link to the home page and to my favorites of the bunch:


Sunday, January 11, 2009

People Like Food

Happy new year!

It's been way, way too long and I'm sorry for the delay.  I have plenty of fun things to discuss this year and I'm looking forward to a delicious 2009.

To get things started, I thought I'd post this fascinating article from The Onion.

Who knew?


These days it's hard to get people to agree on things. Some people like wearing shorts all the time, but other people think you always have to dress up nice. Some people like movies with cartoons in them, but other people only like watching real people. How do you find a middle ground? You don't. It's impossible. But, there's one thing I've found where I think we can all agree: food. People like food.

Now before you argue against my statement, think about it for a second. Everyone I've ever talked to likes food. My mother likes food. My brother likes food. My stepdad likes food even more than my mom. The president likes food, too, probably. I've never eaten with him, but I can picture him sitting at a table eating a big bowl of macaroni and cheese right now. Homeless people ask me for money all the time just so they can buy food. It seems to me that food's pretty popular.

And, when you really think about it, there's a lot to like about food. It tastes good and it's good to eat. That's all I can think of for now, but those two things alone make me like food. Furthermore, I just thought of something else: Food is probably the healthiest and best thing to put in your mouth. You can ask a doctor about that.

And, so, thus, people like food.

There's one big argument against people liking food that I'm going to rebut right now. "What about picky eaters? They don't like food." I must admit that part of that statement is true. Some picky eaters don't like every food that's available, but just because you don't like one food doesn't mean you don't like any food at all.

Still don't believe me? Here's an example that will quiet any naysayers. During dinner one evening, my friend Dale refused to eat asparagus, so I thought to myself, "Does he not like food?" But a few minutes later I looked over and he was eating some baked chicken. So, if he likes chicken, and chicken is food, then he must like food. See? Picky eaters like food, too.

That was just one of many examples of how people like food.

There's food out there for everyone. Hamburgers is one good example. But even if you don't like hamburgers, there are a number of other foods to consider: spaghetti, chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers, cereal, bacon, pancakes, pot pie, and dairy. Some people like food you don't even have to cook, like Starbursts or cheese and crackers. And there is also cold food, liquid food, soft food, hard food, and jelly-filled food. I'm positive that if you look hard enough you will find one food that you like.

I bet you like pizza.

People like food so much that they find time to eat it in between eating it. That's why we have snacks—little foods that taste good that you can eat whenever you want. The snack aisles in supermarkets are very big and have lots of choices. That's because supermarkets learned a long time ago that people like food enough to buy it. They know it, I know it, and you can know it too if you just listen.

Now, granted, I don't know the statistics, but I bet something like 98 percent of people eat food every day. It's got to be really high, because all students and people with jobs have lunch breaks, and what else would they be doing? Even babies cry when they don't get food, which some might say is evidence that we are practically born to eat food. Maybe that's why people like food so much.

Here's a fact: Food has been around forever. Food was there when Marco Polo brought back food from Asia. Food was there during the first Thanksgiving. If you think about it, eating food is the one thing humans have always done. It's what makes us who we are. Without food, could we really even call ourselves human? We'd probably be pretty tired and hungry, or dead.

So in conclusion, if you don't want to be dead, it's time you wised up and accepted the reality that people like food. They just do, trust me. Thank you. 

JANUARY 7, 2009 | ISSUE 45•02